The willpower to decide better

You: what you are today, the way you think, the way you decide, the expectations and dreams you have, the discouragement or courage you feel, how negative or positive you are, etc., it's the result of ALL YOUR DECISIONS you've made in all your life. So, if you don't like what you are, change your decisions.

Do not expect that you're going to be different tomorrow if you keep doing today the same as always. Do not expect that you're going to change a lot tomorrow if you haven't changed much your decisions today. It's nonsense to expect a different tomorrow doing exactly the same today.

Many people complain about their lives. When you talk to them you'll always hear them to cite their list of all the people and situations responsible of why they are how they are. Everybody is responsible: the government, the economy, the family they grew up with, the boss they had, etc. Everybody BUT THEM. They don't realize that they were the ones that allowed to be as they are.

So that, IF YOU WANT TO BE DIFFERENT, START TO DECIDE DIFFERENTLY.

But, that's the problem. That is not that easy.

If you say to the person that want to loose some weight: "The solution is very simple: Just eat healthy," most likely his face will tell you sarcastically: "What's your secret to be that intelligent?" And this is because we normally do know what to do and what not to do, the real problem is that we don't do it because we don't have the willpower to do it.

I'm going to give you a tip which I assure you it'll help you: THE PRINCIPAL REASON FOR WHICH WE MAKE WRONG DECISIONS IS BECAUSE WE FILL OURSELVES WITH BAD THINGS. This is not the only reason, but it's by far the main one.

What you allow to enter in you, it'll come out of you.

If it came out of you, it's because it was in you.

Randomly pick a month of your life, examine it and realize how much time you spent with friends that are not good influence, how much time you watched TV, listened to radio or were on internet, filling yourself whether with bad things or with things that just not to help you to get to your goal. What do you do in your free time? What do you think when you are alone? All of this is of what you're actually filling yourself. This is your true influence.

"¡But this friend or this TV program is not bad at all!" Maybe that's right, but many times it's not about the bad thing we do, but the good thing we don't do. Ask yourself: Does this friend or this TV program (or whatever) help me to go to where I want? If the answer is NO, then the only thing it does is wasting your time. You are filling yourself with leisure.

So then, this is the tip: Don't worry so much for deciding differently, but for changing your influences, because when you change what influences you, then you'll eventually be changing the bad decisions you make.

Change your friendships, quit going to that place, stop watching that TV, radio or internet show, spend less time doing that that you know doesn't contribute to reach your dreams, read more books, go to seminars, take classes. This is starting to decide differently. This is filling yourself with good stuff which will give the willpower to decide correctly.

Assisting to a church and be part of it, maybe is the best decision you can make in this regard. You won't find people that love God, that encourage you to be better, that teach you the Word of God, that lift you up when you need it, etc., as much as in church. Get involve more and more in your local church and you will see that little by little your life will change to the better!

Hope it helps!

If you love your spouse, do not demand

If we read: "Love doesn't demand. Love gives. If someone demands you to prove your love, that person doesn't love you", immediately we think of that guy that manipulates his girlfriend to have sex if she really loves him. (Mental note: shame to him!)

Here I give you some other ways to manipulate which go unnoticed because they're not the most common case, but they are also ways to manipulate your spouse:
- If you love me, have dinner ready for me when I get home.
- If you love me, keep the house clean.
- If you love me, let's go out together at least once a week.
- If you love me, buy me what I want.
- If you love me, be more romantic.
- If you love me, dress as I want.
- If you love me, let's go to church.
- If you love me, read more your Bible.
- If you love me, etc.
Why don't you share other way to demand love that you've seen!

SOMETIMES WE UNCONSCIOUSLY DEMAND TO PROVE THEIR LOVE, and we do that not with our words but with our attitudes: we get moody, offended, we practice the ice law, we become rough, rude, etc. All of this happen if they fail to prove their love we expect.

As you may realized, the things that are demanded aren't bad, but this very fact is what make us think that we're right on demanding them. But this is a mistake. The fact that those things are right, don't make that demanding them to be right.

You can demand obedience to your children up to certain age. But once they grow and want to know the reason before to obey, you'd better know that reason!

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in all the versions you want, and I promise that you won't find this: "Love demands". On the contrary, verse 5 says: "Love doesn't seek its own".

So, what can we do to make them change? Well, what would you say to that guy that demands his girlfriend to have sex to prove her love? (Besides that to stay away from her!) "If you really love that woman, learn to wait". In other words, deny yourself for other person.

Renouncing to that desire for love for your spouse giving it to your Heavenly Father is the best way for you to get free of that constant inner dissatisfaction in which you live for not seeing your desire coming true. When you understand that your happiness has to be based on the fact that God is with you and not on that your desires come true, you'll start living in freedom

That desire of demanding your spouse, if you give it to your Heavenly Father, He can calm it down, appease it, and even take it away from you. And not only that, but He can help you to really love because He is love!

Of course that you can apply this principle with your friends, relatives, etc.

Why don't you share this to someone, but not so that that person may change, but to tell him/her: "Look, this made me reflect. I will ask for help to my Heavenly Father so that I may change" 😉

I hope this helped you! =)

Gadol's Nugget: The Face in the Mount

Has anyone noted that face in the mount which is in the book cover of the novel "Gadol, en Busca de la Verdad - El Descenso"? Well, if you hasn't, now you have!

In one chapter of the novel I tell how a witness of a slaughter had the impression that even the mountains around him were sad because of the blood that the land received.

That part of the book came to my mind when the book cover's designer, José Aljovín, unintentionally made that in the mount appears a face. When I saw that, I told immediately: "That face is sooo cool! Please, emphasize that face!"

Gadol's Nugget: His main problem

Gadol, the main character of my novel, went through many terrible hardships, but he didn't realize that his main problem was found in his mind. That, in the long run, would be the main cause of the suffering he would go through.

Gadol is like many of us. Everybody has to face many problem, but the main problem is not found in the problem itself, but in how we handle our problem. Our attitude when we face our problems determines if we prolong the problem or if we find an answer.

How are you facing your current situation? Remember that complaining, lamenting, blaming others, etc., DO NOT RESOLVE THE PROBLEM, on the contrary, IT MAKES IT BIGGER. But if you take responsibility (even though it hasn't been your fault), ask for advices, seek help, make plans, etc., sooner or latter that problem will be something of your past, and you will be coming through strengthened rather than destroyed.

Hope it helps!