Do not Turn Off your Kid's Imagination

Many times, as a father, I've focused more on "the orden and neatness" of my kids than others more important things, such as, their imagination. Order has to be at the service of imagination and not in the other way around, because imagination gives you the goal, and order helps you to get there. When I realize this, I felt so bad as a father, because it was like I gave them a car, but they don't have a place to go, and that, in time, make the order becomes a goal in itself.

The picture illustrates perfectly this message. I recognize that a "go-order-your-room!" still comes out of my mouth before I ask them what there was in their imagination. Thanks be to my lovely Father for His grace because I really need it!, because He reminds me not only to ask them first for what they were imagining, but also makes me to be interested in what they are telling me: in the galactic war that took place in their room, in the martial tournament with new characters, in that aventure with a superhero, etc., so that they may grow with the confidence of what they imagine isn't nonsense.

AND AT THE END, after making sure that what was in their mind was important, I help them to form one of the tools that will help them in the future to materialize their imagination: order.

Our kids have a great imagination. Let us not turn it off! That imagination will turn into dreams and goals, which will make their lives to make sense and they'll feel fulfilled as persons. Our job as parents, is to give them the tools that will help them to reach those dreams that our heavenly Father will put in their hearts!

"Imagination is the preview of life's coming attractions" 

"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination" 

"Imagination is more important that knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world" 

Albert Einstein

Hope it helps! 

The Honor to be a Parent

Something we can highlight in the chapter 5 of Genesis is that, for God, the most important and transcendent thing in the life of every man mentioned there is the children they had. Realize that their achievements, victories and feats are not mentioned, only the fact that they had children.

Dr Edwin Loius Cole taught that this modern society honor, recognize and value achievements and titles: "the great and award-winning doctor in medicine with Phd in such prestigious university", "the recognized scientist with 5 different specialities discoverer of this radioactive substance", "this sport record breaker 8 times world winner", etc., but it doesn't honor, recognize nor value a good father.

Sadly, we invest a lot of time and energy to build a great name so we can be recognized and remembered for generations, but we don't give the due importance to the great privilege we have to be fathers or mothers.

How many of us remember our great great grandfather's name? I think just a few of us. How about our great great great great great grandfather's name? I think none of us. Why do we think, then, that we will be remembered? Why that stubbornness of magnifying our name when the only ones we should be great for is our sons and daughters?

The only name we should magnify is Jesus. If we do that, He will make our name great (Genesis 12:1-3), but even in that, do not get too excited, because it won't be forever. Besides, when Jesus magnifies your name isn't for the sake to make you known and that you may be gloried, but for making Him known and that He may be glorified.

Don't work for being recognized by society, but by your kids. Do not work to be great for society, but only for your kids.

To be great for your kids isn't hard: Spend time with them, listen to them, play with them, get interested in what they are interested in, know them. The only difficult part of this is that we have to put our selfishness aside, that desire to be highlighted over others, but its reward goes much beyond of that ephemeral satisfaction of receiving praises from others, because what you'll feel is the filling with the sense of permanent satisfaction, that sense for having accomplished your most important task entrusted by your heavenly Father Himself: to be His reflection before His son or daughter, because, after all, they never were ours, they just passed by us.

Don't you know how to be a good father or mother? Your heavenly Father does. He is more interested in helping you than yourself, because He loves your children more than you ever will, He know them before you do and better than you. Let yourself to be loved by Him, let yourself to be filled with His love, His words and His embrace, because remember, more than being father or mother, you're His child. That will be the best way to learn to be a good father or mother.

Hope this may helped you!

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For more good teachings for parents take a look to this link: Enseñanzas para Padres (Teaching for Parents). The teachings are in English and Spanish ;-)

Gadol's Nugget: His children's free will

One of the characteristics of Gadol, the main character of my book, was his over concern about his children. He was convinced that they'd want to serve God thanks to the perfect testimony he thought he had before them (actually, before everybody!), that's why it was a surprise for him that they, being adults already, told them that they didn't want to serve God.

Being concerned about what would be of them away from God, he decided to take responsibility of their spiritual lives. They, in order to not make a division in their family, were agree to his idea, but obviously, since no one can approach God by force, manipulated or by being deceived, Gadol's idea didn't work.

Where was Gadol mistaken? He didn't respect his children's free will. He didn't let God to work in them, but on the contrary, by meddling in their decisions, Gadol interrupted what God was doing in them.

Advice:
If you have children, YOU CAN NOT OBLIGATE THEM TO SERVE GOD. You just can, by your example, make them want to do it.
Until certain age, you can "obligate" them to go to church, but you have to have discernment to know when you have to stop obligating them (just in case, that age is normally 12, 13 o 14 year old more or less -  if he/she is 35 years old and you're still obligating him/her, you need counseling! 😀).
The best way will always be your own testimony. The fact that they see you happy, carefree, that when you run to God they see you come out different, that you changed many bad things in you, are things that your children will see in spite of their age, and that will make them want to serve the same God you serve.

One Way to Curse your Children

About one year ago, I told my son Juan Esteban (he was 8 years old): "Don't be lazy!", because he didn't want to clean his room, but in that moment I felt that I was saying to him that he was lazy, and he should stop being that. I realized that the words "don't be lazy" had the same meaning as "you are lazy, stop being that."

As a father, I felt so bad because I was telling my son he was lazy, therefore, he was going to behave as he was. Without realizing, I was cursing him, bonding his life to a certain behavior.

I am sure that it was my Heavenly Father the One that put in my heart to stop talking to my two kids in that way (because I also talked to my son Juan Pablo in that way), and to start analyzing the way I was talking to them, which I supposed it was the right way because I've never insulted them, I've never despised them, I've never told them that they can't, etc.

From that moment on I replaced the words "don't be lazy" by "don't behave as if you were lazy, because you are not. You are disciplined". I replaced the words "don't be bad" by "do not behave as if you were bad, because you are not. You are good," and sometimes I add: "and indeed, you are very good" 😀. I replaced the words "don't be filthy" by "do not behave as if you were filthy, because you aren't. You are clean."

That wrong way to say things was part of me in such a way that I kept doing it out of habit, but I corrected myself immediately. I've also explained this to my boys, so that in the case I spoke to them in that way again, they may know that I was the one that was wrong, and that they are not what I said. There were times they corrected me, and I was so happy to accept that correction!

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you those wrong ways to say things that are part of you, in which you might be cursing your children without realizing. May your mouth be a spring of blessing from which they may constantly drink!

I really hope this helped you!