Anger problems? A glance to the inside

Sometimes I get angry. There are things that annoy me, from small things to big things. Sometimes I have taken that anger out on my own family, out on my wife and sons, and I have fallen into blaming them for that anger. Many years ago I corrected that mistake. 

Many say, "You made me angry," because they think that what that person did or said was what caused their anger. They are wrong. The anger was in them, and what that person did or said was their excuse for it to be manifested.

To take care of my family's heart, I have told them that they are not to blame for my reaction, my anger, that what they said or did did not make me angry, that with the years, I have allowed the anger to be in me and that I am the one who has to change. The fact that what they said or did was wrong does not justify my anger. What they did or said can be corrected without getting angry.

They didn't make me angry, I'm the only one responsible for it. To think that they have to stop doing or saying that in order for me not to get angry is merely a way of justifying myself and not taking responsibility for my anger.

When the prophet Nathan came to King David, he spoke to him with a little story. He told him that there was a man who had two sons, and they were so poor that their only possession was a little sheep which they raised as part of the family. There was also a very rich man, with thousands of sheep, who offered a feast to a visitor who came to him, but instead of taking one of his many sheep for food, he took the poor man's only little sheep.

When David heard that, the Bible says that his anger was kindled against that rich man and he said that he deserves to die and that he must pay the poor man with interest. At that moment, Nathan tells him, "You are that man" (2 Samuel 12:1-17).

Notice this: Everything that angered David was inside him. The only reason David was angry with the rich man was because he saw himself reflected in him. And the same happens with us.

Anger is just a way of expressing annoyance and/or disagreement with something. Other people express it differently: frustration, impatience, stress, despair, and they reflect it with unforgiveness, silent treatment, rudeness, yelling, hitting, etc.

So, the first step to being free from anger is, without a doubt, to RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING ANGRY.

Stop blaming your husband or wife, children, the government, what happened to you or what they did to you, your boss, some circumstance, etc., and start taking responsibility for yourself, for your own attitudes and reactions, and you will see that, little by little, as you learn to find the help you need in the presence of your heavenly Father and in His Word,  He'll start doing that work that you couldn't for years. Over time, you will no longer be affected by what used to bother you, and you may not even realize it when it happens. Gradually, others will notice and say, "You're different! How did you change?" and you can testify to what Jesus did in you.

I hope it helped you!

Rest from yourself

When you live in the Law, you are heavy laden, stressful and worried, and this happens because in the Law you depend on your own strength and merits for your success. But when you live in the Grace of Jesus, you live rested all the time because you don't depend on what you can get by your own, but you trust that what Jesus won is yours too. Grace is better!

Jacob was trusting on his own strength to fix his life, to escape from his past and from the consequences of his actions. In spite of being Abraham's grandson and Isaac's son, God's men in that time, he felt unworthy that God was with him because of the things he's done. But God was with him, the problem was that he didn't know that and he didn't feel worthy of it!, and we know this because we see that when Jacob decided to take a rest when he was running from his brother, he took a rock as pillow, lay down, and had a dream: open heaven above him with a ladder wherein angels were going up and down, and then God, besides of confirming to Jacob the same covenant made to his father and grandfather, He speaks to his heart saying: "I am with you" (Genesis 28:15).

I think that it was there when Jacob's heart healing started. I imagine him crying saying: "But God, how can you love me if I hurt people, I deceive them, I seek my own benefit, I'm known as an usurper, I lied to my own family. Lord, I'm not worthy that you are with me." And I believe that those words kept ministering Jacob: "In spite of your bad behavior, I love you, I am with you." Wow!

Now, in what moment did Jacob receive that revelation? When he decided to rest! That's the secret: you have to rest from yourself, from trying by your own to win God's and people's approval, from trying to be worthy to be called His son. REST!

If you labor and are heavy laden, come to Jesus and rest. In Him you'll find the rest that your soul needs (Matthew 11:28-29). Jesus didn't come to give a to-do list to win His favor, but He wants to teach you that He already won it for you. Your attitude won't be anymore: I have to win the blessings of God, but it will be: I will go to take what Jesus gave away.

Jacob thought he was running from his problems, but he wasn't running from his true problem: himself, the innate trying to win things. Besides, most assuredly he thought he was running from God too, but God never abandoned him, but Jacob didn't realize that. Jacob just closed his eyes, and behold, God was there.