Don't criticize your spouse. Highlighting the good things is better!

Point out the good things to others as you want others to point out your good things." That would be the Golden Rule paraphrased.

Who doesn't like others to point out one's good things? I think that everybody likes it! The problem is that we normally criticize more than to point the good things out.

Most people focus on effectiveness, and they think that by criticizing, telling somebody off and just pointing out the problem, they make that the problem to be corrected. Big mistake!

The husband focuses on the problem when he says to his wife: "Why are you late all the time! I'm sick and tired that the house is a mess! You just demand things from me all the time!", etc. And the wife focuses on the problem when she says to her husband: "You never pay attention to me! You are good for nothing! You're not romantic at all!", etc.

Are those problems for real? Yes, they are. Do they have to be solved? Yer, they do. But that's not the way.

Maybe your spouse isn't good doing that because that's not his/her natural ability, maybe nobody taught him/her or maybe she/he lacks motivation. Regardless the cause, pointing out the bad things won't help him/her to change.

When you highlight a text in a book, what is the first thing you see next time you open that book in that page? The first thing you see is what you highlighted! It happen the same with your spouse. If you just highlight his/her bad things, the first thing you'll see in him/her will be the bad things! But, if you highlight her/his good things, the first things you'll see in him/her will be the good things!

So then, if you learn to focus on your spouse's good things rather than the bad things, and then you highlight those good things rather than the bad things, soon you will be enjoying a very much better marriage!

Constantly tell your spouse the good things he/she does! Don't wait for him/her to do a big feat for doing it! HIGHLIGHT TO HIM/HER THE LITTLE THINGS THAT HE/SHE DOES WELL ON A DAYLI BASIS! That's the best way to help him/her to change!

"Your food is so delicious! You're so neat! You clean so good! I'm so glad you've got home! You're so beautiful! I just love watching you playing with the kids! Thank you for being with me! You're a great man! You're a great woman! Thanks for exerting yourself for us!", etc. And if you say these things publicly, oh yeah!, get ready for a good reward!

Of course that you can apply this principle with your friends, employees, coworkers, etc. Get the habit of adding with your words value and life to the people around you. Make them feel good around you.

Hope this helped you!